Failing 101: Professor provides syllabus, outlines foolproof way to fail college courses

UWIRE - Calling all procrastinators, slackers, cheaters, bums and - well, any college student, really. Here is a list for you.
"Ten Ways to Fail this Course" was put together during winter break by a Middle Tennessee State University professor.
It's not for the one in a million lifetime overachiever, but it runs the table as far as the rest of the population is concerned.
Mark Anshel, who has a masters' degree in psychology of human performance and a doctorate in philosophy, teaches a graduate course called research methods at MTSU. The purpose of the list is to give his students a colorful reminder of what not to do if they want to pass with a decent grade.The list, however, relates well to any student at any level of the academic ladder.
The following is an abbreviated preview of things any good student would likely avoid:
1) Negative self-talk: Keep telling yourself, "This course is meaningless and irrelevant. I'll never use anything I learn in this class."
2) Class attendance: Miss as many classes as you can. If you must attend, try to leave after the break. Besides, there's probably something on TV you'd rather watch.
3) Pre-class rituals: If this class is taught in the evening, be sure to go all day non-stop, don't rest before class and come to class completely exhausted. Also, avoid food and make sure you arrive to class starving.
4) Study habits: Wait until a few days before - better yet, the day before - the exam before you begin to study. Try pulling an "all-nighter."
5)Plagiarize: Since developing writing skills and reading research are both totally unnecessary, especially for research purposes, if you don't intend to write a thesis, just cheat. Copy articles and books verbatim. Plagiarism can result in expulsion from the university program, but it's worth a try.
6) Wait until the last day to finish assignments: To get a low grade in this course, wait until the last few days before finishing your assignment so you can give an array of excuses why your assignment is late.
7) Get defensive: If your work is criticized, just conclude that the professor expects too much and that you'll never be asked to write "like this" again.
8) Make it personal: Conclude that any criticism or other forms of negative feedback you receive is personal. By feeling that the professor does not like you allows you to not take responsibility for your poor work.
9) Don't read: Most courses have handouts in addition to the class textbook. Avoid reading any of this. Consider anything the professor does not review in class as unimportant.
10) Back to blaming the professor: When you finally get the (C, D or F) grade in a graduate course you have earned, blame your professor.
Remember, these are some of the things not to do, unless of course, you want a D or an F for your final grade.
"One of the most painful things for me is to give a student a low grade," Anshel said. Anshel, like so many of MTSU's faculty, is serious about educating his students.
"My main job is to act as a facilitator of knowledge," Anshel said.
He does, however, remember what the college life was like.
"I was in a rock band in college," he recalls. "It was called Eksticy."
The list has essentially two main objectives, according to Anshel.
The first is the need to educate students about the things they do that are counterproductive - the things that are basically keeping them from reaching their goals.
The second objective is to say it in a way that will be remembered, or "tongue-in-cheek" as Anshel puts it. Anshel created this list to help his students succeed. "The key thing is to respect the integrity of the student," Anshel said. Some students, however, feel like some of the rules can be broken.
Senior recording industry major Jonathan Coomes said: "If you do all of them - yeah, you're going to fail, but you can probably do a couple and still squeak by with a B."
"I pull all-nighters all the time, but they tend to work for me since I'm used to it," he said. "But it's definitely easier if you keep up with the work so you don't have to pull that all-nighter."